I think I woke up without spoons today. Mostly I spend the day in bed watching criminal minds.
I started losing weight on June 1. I’m down 25 lbs. And thrilled with my progress. I’m learning how to listen to my body and separate actual hunger from emotions
And today I was so full of emotions. My depression hasn’t been this bad in a few months. So I was taken by surprise by it. But today I was able to separate my sadness from the need to eat. I ate food. A normal amount. I didn’t weigh and track every bite, but I also didn’t gorge myself. I didn’t drown my sadness in brownies.
This is a huge win for me. But today I knew that a whole tray of brownies would actually make me feel worse from the sugar and guilt. So my compromise was a spoon of Nutella and some strawberries for dessert.
It feels weird. Mostly I’m thrilled I handled food well today. But also I miss the comfort food used to give me. Even though I’d feel worse after. it wasn’t even a struggle to not pig out. Which is a great sign for long term success.
But dam actually having to feel my feelings sucks. I’d like to get them removed.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ib8435/today_my_depression_was_high_and_i_wish_i_could/
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