The last time I checked the scale was so long ago I can't even remember. I have gained so much weight, that I have had to go back to the store buy clothes that could actually fit me, *many* times.
I have struggled weight loss with all my life, but it has been nothing like this.
What hurts the most is that a lot of this weight is weight I HAVE GAINED BACK!!!!!! Which makes me so unbelievably disappointed in myself, that I can't even express it. I started at 150lbs, and went down to 126lbs (I'm 5'3). The last time I had the courage to check the scale, I weighed in at 196lbs...
That was a long time ago... and now I'm scared. I had to go back to the store yet again for a bigger size, because the other big clothes I bought no longer fit me....
I can feel the weight on my body, and I hate it. It's uncomfortable. Even laying down, my fat rolls around my sides and my back, and it is painful. The stairs in my house now seem impossible. I'm tired doing even the most simple things....
I'm devastated, especially because I gained all my weight back... I feel lost. I feel like giving up. I'm afraid of looking at myself in the mirror, taking pictures, and stepping on the scale because I know I will hate what I see.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ikapcl/afraid_to_go_on_the_scale/
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