I’m F 5’7” and 188 lbs.
3 years ago I was 136.
I feel repulsed by myself and my body. I hate looking in the mirror now and I only wear baggy clothing to hide my stomach. I feel so fat. I used to have a flat stomach, and now it pokes out farther than my boobs. My thighs chafe now, too.
I had been doing CICO for a while in March and hit 177 but gained it all back pretty soon. I’ve started CICO again since June and the lowest I got this time was 181 having started again at 188, and now I’m all the way back at my starting point.
I’m just incredibly frustrated with myself that I let it get like this. I feel like I eat about the same (if not healthier) and have the same activity levels as 3 years ago, but my body is so drastically different. I can’t stop comparing my body to my friends’ bodies, thinking about how I wish my stomach laid down flat when I lied down, or how I wish my legs were as skinny as theirs, or how my arms didn’t jiggle when I moved.
And it sucks that most of it is my own fault. I was doing well today but ate a cookie when I got home and now I’m over my calorie limit. I have a gym membership but I never use it. I have yoga supplies but I never do yoga. I eat more healthy than I did 6 months ago but it’s not enough.
I have a 29.4 BMI and it scares me so much that I am so close to being obese.
I think that I’m going to have to go super extreme if I want to lose weight and keep it off, like going vegan or limiting calories to like 400-900.
Sorry this is a total ramble and doesn’t even make sense I’m just really upset with myself. I would love some advice or TLC.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ihdvmg/really_struggling/
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