I (31f) have always been overweight, since childhood. At one point I was obese, pretty much all of my close relatives are also obese/morbidly obese. I feel genetics and upbringing are partly to blame, healthy foods/portion control was never taught in my household growing up. We just ate whatever was cheap and easy, so lots of carbs and sugars were a staple in my family. Veggies and fruits were optional, often non existent.
I accept that most of my extra weight is from my own terrible decisions. Depression was also a factor. Didn't care what I put in my body. Didn't care about making good choices, and disregarded portion control. I just wanted to feel full, all the time. I just played it off in public like I was just the 'big bubbly girl', even though I was bullied everyday during middle/high school for having rolls. I hated myself for so long, but did my best to not let anyone know it. So as a release I self harmed. My body is full of scars that I have to live with forever.
Seeing myself in photos, I always felt disgusted with myself. So after a journey of getting my mental health back under control, I decided I need to do something about my weight. I still have a ways to go.
Nowadays instead of driving to work, I walk. I walk with my backpack to go get groceries, I walk just to go for a walk. Sometimes I'll put dumbbells in my backpack just to help get stronger. It was so hard at first, just a few blocks and I would be so out of breath.
Now I can walk 5k, still have enough energy to practice a better mentality and put effort into cooking healthy meals and remind myself to eat slower, rather than just shoving fast foods in my face. I have taken note of this mental shift and am proud of it.
Diabetes and heart disease is common in my family, I refuse to die because of what I eat, as too many of my family members have because of it. This is not the life I want to live.
Recently I saved up enough money to go on a small vacation. Instead of lazing around, eating shitty food, I went hiking and explored the areas. Some trails were challenging, but I pushed myself forward.
I still have moments of struggle, and have an addiction to alcohol, but that's something I feel I can overcome with time, patience, and therapy.
I am still proud of who I am today, and I hope you are too. We all have our struggles, defeats, but that makes us who we are. You are beautiful, you are human, don't ever forget that.
Thanks for listening to my story, I hope you feel that you are not alone. Keep pushing yourself, you are tough, and worth it. You are worth living the life you want to live.
Keep your head up, be proud of your accomplishments, we are all in this together. ❤
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ihxbvt/40lbs_down_its_been_a_tough_road_but_the_payoff/
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