I'd like to preface this by saying I'm not overweight (19, 5'4", probably around 125lbs now), but the notorious "freshman 15" did hit (more so during quarantine than anything) and I have gained over 10lbs. I know this is probably a stupid problem and I know that other people have made tremendous change with a much harder journey, but I feel extremely pathetic in my physical capabilities and I just don't know what to do.
I've never really been active in my life; my mom barred me from joining any sports as a kid (I was very chubby back then and felt extremely insecure) and she would later also go on to make fun of me whenever I tried to work out or diet. Safe to say, I now have pretty severe gym anxiety (in addition to my normal anxiety) and have internalized everything my mom pushed onto me when I was younger.
I ended up shedding all of the weight I had as a kid during puberty and have pretty much relied on my relatively fast metabolism since then to maintain my weight.
I knew it wouldn't last forever and, lo and behold, I have finally started gaining weight. I've been trying to exercise almost every day of the week for the last 3 weeks (mostly pilates because I don't have a job currently and my parents don't want to get me weights or a gym membership) but I still feel as weak and pathetic as I have my entire life. I don't feel like I'm losing weight/gaining muscle at all and whenever I try to do more intense core workouts my back/neck just ends up hurting. I try to engage my core as much as I can and keep my lower back tucked against my yoga mat, but whenever I try to do exercises that rely on me lowering my legs, I can't go as far as I'm supposed to (whilst maintaining proper form) and it just feels extremely discouraging.
On top of that, when I first started working out, I would get sore the day after--but that recently stopped; at first, I thought that meant I got stronger, but when I tried adding more onto my workouts the back and neck pain ensued. My mom made a passing comment about how I gained weight today and it's been on my mind all day, hence this Reddit post.
I've started eating less (I start my day off with two eggs and toast) in the hopes that it'll help me lose weight but I honestly don't know what I'm doing at all. My mom also cooks and buys all the groceries for the family so I rarely have an opportunity to make dietary choices of my own volition and, even if I did, I'd still have no idea where I would begin. Thankfully, I move back to university soon and can finally start making my own meals but, again, no clue what I would even be making. I'd also like to say I don't have an ED as I love food and don't feel repulsed by the idea of eating, I just want to know how to continue to eat in a healthier manner.
If you've read this far, thank you; I'm sorry for rambling but I guess what I'm asking is: What even is "a healthy diet"? How do you count calories (do you need to count calories?)? How can I make my workouts more effective without injuring myself but also push myself in the same vein?
(As an aside in case it's relevant, I'm a trans-man who is pre-transition; I'm trying to get into the swing of a healthy diet/workout regimen so I can build muscle when I start T in a month or so as opposed to just flat out gaining weight instead.)
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ikb4ew/feeling_weak_discouraged_and_lost_with_fitness/
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