I want today to be the first day of my journey back to health and taking care of myself again. I know I can't blame lockdown entirely as some people are thriving with their exercise and eating right being at home more but I'm sadly not one of them.
In January this year I signed up for an app, held myself accountable, counted calories, exercised, and although it wasn't easy, started to see some promising results. It's not much but in 3 months I'd dropped my first 7kg (sorry for those working in pounds, I'm in Australia) and was starting to feel good. My back pain was less, my skin improved and I felt like I was gaining some control back. Then the pandemic hit and my anxiety spiked through the roof. I have some health anxiety so it kind of felt like a worst nightmare coming true. In the first few weeks I was doing OK with keeping on track with CICO then I just started slipping into survival mode and suddenly nothing much else mattered. The panic buying and unavailability of some grocery items gave me an excuse to eat loads of rice and pasta and just be grateful to have food on the table, I think that survival mindset really enabled me not to monitor my eating. Then the emotional trauma of everything going on led me back to eating to fill a void and feel better (which never works but it's been such a difficult habit to break for me).
I let my app subscription lapse, I stopped leaving the house for exercise and gave up counting calories and weighing in. All things that were working before suddenly felt like 'why bother'. Of course, I put back on all the weight I'd lost and a few extra KG too. I'm back in a better place mentally now and trying to get back on track with CICO and exercising but I just needed to get this off my chest and say (more for myself I guess) that today has to be the day that I start trying again because I don't want to live like this anymore - missing out on things because I have no self-confidence, back pain when walking, and not being able to wear the clothes I want, and of course so much more, but those are the things that are bothering me today! I have read so many inspiring stories here and hope I can be one of them soon too. I went for a walk today, 2 blocks and pushed through back pain knowing the only way out is through. Thanks everyone, any words of encouragement you have would be greatly appreciated. I just need to believe that I can do it again and keep going this time.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ihejzt/i_need_some_encouragement_to_start_over/
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