I've been lurking around on this subreddit for months and seeing so many people be able to meet their goals has made me finally decide to do something about my weight again. (this is a new reddit account because my friends know my normal one)
At my highest weight I was 110kg while only being 14 years old (right now I’m 15). I never really noticed how much I would eat, I would have large portions for lunch and dinner but I never thought that they were contributing to my weight and I really didn’t care much about it when I was younger. When I started secondary school (11/12 years old) my weight started getting worse but I still didn’t really notice. Of course I still wasn’t happy about it, because who wants to be the fattest in their year and look so different to everyone else (I remember when the guy I had a crush on called me fat to his friends, ouch), but all the healthy diets and stuff that doctors and people I’d talked to about my weight were giving me just felt so out of reach so I pretty much just brushed it aside and left it as an issue for my future self to deal with.
The weight kept piling on and I wasn’t happy but here comes my mum with a magical solution /s. She told me about how she used to go on a ‘juice diet’ and that I should try it to lose weight quickly. Of course I was open to any easy way to lose weight because this was when I was at my highest(110kg) and I never wanted to put in the work so I agreed. It was horrible. I remember liking the juice I was meant to drink at first and I was pretty happy but the cravings, and knowing that you can’t have any normal food or the whole diet is basically void, really got to me. I would always break the diet and would hate myself for it. I was doing it at least once every two months and although it helped me lose weight, it was the worst thing in the world and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone else who is trying to lose weight.
I only brought up the courage to tell my mum that I didn’t want to carry on the diet around April this year. I had started the diet again, but the thought of the juice made me feel sick so I stupidly went without eating for three days because I was still on the ‘diet’ but didn’t want to drink the juice. After that I came to the consensus that the juice is horrible and I will never be doing that again. Within the year and half that I did the diet, I lost around 15kg but I didn’t (and still don’t) really notice how much that was because I hate the way I actually lost it and I feel like nothing has really changed in my body.
So here we are. Right now my weight is around 93kg and I’m 172cm tall, my goal weight is anywhere around 60kg; I really just dont want to be obese anymore. I’ve been trying to find a way to lose weight that I feel is sustainable in the long run because I know that if I don’t like what I’m doing, I’m not going to be able to carry it on and I think I’ve found it. Since the first of this month(August), I’ve been going back to basics and counting calories and really understanding how much I’ve been eating and why I was gaining so much weight throughout my life. I’ve found some really nice recipes from a cookbook that aren’t very high in calories and that I can see myself eating even when I’m just trying to maintain my weight in the future. I would love to add doing some exercise onto this but I've dislocated my knee three times and so (especially with my weight) I've got to be careful with doing any jumping or twisting and anything like squats are completely out of the question. Until the physiotherapy department at my nearest hospital reopens (closed because of covid) or I decide to get an operation done, which would take however long, I've got to focus on only the diet portion of losing weight.
So I guess I’m making this post to hold myself accountable. Even if only one person reads this, thank you.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/i69xp8/just_starting_out_heres_a_long_rant_about_a_bad/
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