F26; 5'-3"; SW:215lb; CW:159lb; GW:130lb (so so sorry for typos and grammar, english isn't my first language and it's late, but I really need to vent)
I have this friend in particular that knew me all my life, so she knows where I come from with my weight struggles. We kinda grew appart, we are still good friends but there are values and other things that we are not on the same page anymore.
I never really talk about my loss journey with her, since we don't hang out a lot and there are other things that we want to catch up about. So last time we hung out, we've been the whole day together and at some point she brought up my weight loss. In cheer excitement, I showed her a picture of me before, to show how much progress I've done and she drops:
"That's really nice, but you were so beautiful back then"
She did not say I was ugly now, but it feels like she totaly underminded the pride I have in my weightloss. I know she says those kind of thing to not lower my old self, that even if I was still that weight, I would still be a valid person to her eyes. I know it comes from a kind place, but it annoys me to the moon.
The thing is, I'm pretty realistic about myself, and I know goddamn right that I am more beautiful now. The issue is not what she thinks, but how do I get through to her to let her know that no, it's not true. I tried to tell her that I'm in a much better place mentally, that I do not feel like shit anymore, that my joints are thanking me, that my self-estime is to the roof now. I feel like I can take over the world with my bike and my steps, and it makes me realises how unstoppable I can be if I allow myself love.
I tried to tell her all that, how it makes me feel, but she doesn't seems to see the point. I learned to choose my battle, and this one is not one I'm gonna fight.
But I am curious about your stories, did it happen to you? Did something similar happened? How did you deal with it? I think I need to feel normalized (or is it so out of the ordinary?)
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/i25t1a/how_do_you_deal_with_people_telling_you_you_were/
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