I just wanted to get something off my chest. It’s been weighing me down my whole life. Obviously, the fact that I’m fat. At 5’1.5 and approaching 140 pounds, I’m not exactly at a great weight. I saw someone post about “revenge bodies” and I got an immediate flashback to high school. We were analyzing poetry and I was wearing a green sweater. The poem was called “the green cow”. I didn’t think anything of it until the next day when my friend told me the boys were laughing and calling me the green cow the whole time. And when our class was ordering T-shirts, there was a spreadsheet going around for everyone to sign up their sizes. Keep in mind I wasn’t atrociously large in high school and fit fine into size small shirts. But after I wrote “small”, the same friend told me that the boys had an email chain going around making fun of me and suggesting I get a medium. I know that these are petty instances but the absolute pain it caused me and still causes me makes me want to sink into a hole and die. And then I went to my uncle’s house with my sister—who is pretty slim and perfect. He told my sisters that she should learn to eat and look how much your sister eats (pointing straight at me). Needless to say I lost my appetite and spent the evening crying in the basement. Now that I look back at pictures from this time in my life I see that I was normal looking—maybe 125 pounds. I don’t know why people were obsessed with my weight and always calling me a cow or baby elephant. And from these words I always start losing weight and giving up. But that’s not going to happen this time because this winter break I’m going to see my uncle again and I don’t want to ever give him or anyone else reason to degrade me.
Sorry for the rant just feel like crying and only this sub seems to understand me.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/hm1syb/throwback_to_high_school_jerks/
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