Hey guys! I didn’t know this sub existed until about ten minutes ago, but I’m really glad it does. Finding like-minded people, or just someone to share my story with, will do wonders for my mental health. I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible, but I do tend to go off on tangents when I’m nervous so please excuse me.
I’m a 25 year old female who has been obese my entire life and I just got a somewhat troubling diagnosis (NAFLD). My biggest thing right now is trying to keep my anxiety in check; I’m a HUGE hypochondriac and I have a tendency to read things up on the net that aren’t helping my mental stability at all. However, my anxiety isn’t the only thing I’m struggling with right now.
So, my last recorded weight was 267lbs and this was at the doctor in 2018. I’ve never had any very serious health conditions up until this point, and I remember always thinking, ‘someday I’m going to decline rapidly and I won’t have a chance to save myself.’ Morbid, but true, as my life has been .. really just a train wreck ever since my mom was almost murdered when I was eleven.
Since then, my biggest issues have been depression, severe social anxiety (I don’t leave the house, and rarely my bed and choose to play games and do digital art which is my only source of income), and a hypothyroidism diagnosis I got in 2013 when I was 18. Fast forward to now, when I went to the doc in May for extreme pain in the upper right quadrant of my abdomen. I knew something was amiss even before the pain, however, because my nail beds changed color rapidly and the lenula disappeared. This scared the sh*t out of me because it can just be a sign of aging but it is most prevalent in people with cirrhosis.
I suspected gallbladder because of the pain, but they did a ultrasound and they informed me that what I actually have is a case of (probable) steatosis. Cool.
My doc never really followed up on this. I was given instructions to lose weight and that was pretty much it. For anyone with health related anxiety—or just anxiety in general—I’m sure you understand the stab of fear I felt as I searched up my condition.
And ever since then I’ve kind of been at a loss. And what I’d really like are some tips I guess if there is anyone here with a similar condition or just under the same type of mental anguish I am.
I’ve recently started trying to eat better; I’ve cut sugary things entirely and limit it to natural sugars such as fruits and things like that. I don’t eat out anymore at all, and I’m eating leaner meats as well (chicken, salmon, fish). I spoke to a kind nutritionist who gave me the whole spiel of exactly what you’d expect. I was given a list of things to avoid and load up on.
My biggest issue is money. So I’ve just been trying to grab canned vegetables, bagged broccoli.. anything without a high sodium or fat content. I’m so worried it isn’t going to be enough. I have a tendency to sometimes go without eating, too. Because there’s just.. I don’t know. A fear that I won’t make it and I’ll die of liver failure as a result. All I know is that I haven’t eaten over 1500 calories in about three weeks. I’ve been tracking them with an app.
I haven’t been able to check my weight because I don’t own and can’t afford a scale at this very moment, and horrifically, I’m almost glad because I’m terrified I’ll just see the numbers increase instead of decrease and I’ll resign myself to giving up. At the same time, I want to try harder and push myself.. I have no idea what to do.
I started exercising using one of those stationary bikes. I’ve had a rocky start with it but it gets easier and easier every time I hop on. I started with 30mins/300cal each session for three times a week. I want to increase to an hour a day. At the time of writing this I’m at 37mins.
TL;DR: Went to the doc, found out I have NAFLD. Have severe social anxiety and I stopped getting out regularly for anything about seven years ago when I turned 18 and school was no longer mandatory. I have NEVER taken my health seriously, and the only time I really exercised was my walk to, from, and during school but I’m starting now. Really like the idea of staying on this earth a while longer to meet my boyfriend in person eventually, and am looking for tips and advice and how to do things in a budget. Sorry for the rant.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/hm0m5p/motivated_but_pretty_dang_scared/
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