I’m trying to lose weight again after gaining alot back since the pandemic started and it’s not going well.
Long story short, last spring-fall I lost 68 lbs (from 210-142, I’m a 24yo guy, 5ft5). I always ate emotionally and over christmas break my depression and alcohol intake led me to balloon up to 165ish. I managed to get back down to 148, and then lockdown happened and it spurred another extreme severe depressive episode. I don’t want to make this a “mental health” spirl or whatever, but to spare the details i wasnt even changing my clothes or getting off the couch for like 10-15 hrs a day other than to stuff my fave or use the bathroom. I’m now back up to 170lbs. I managed to get down to 166 by the end off last werk, but I just ate it all back.
I feel defeated and disgusting.
Getting motivated last time was so much easier but i feel so out of control this time. Im trying to cut back drinking, using mfp to do cico again, and starting cardio. I was able to jog a mile 3x this week but i just ate like a fucking pig yesterday and today. Same thing happned last week, and the week before, and the week before that. About 20 min ago i literally ate myself sick because i just saw a bunch of leftover cake and barbecue and just gorged myself even though i wasnt even that hungry. Now i just feel bloated and gross and wish i could puke it all out.
I’m so pissed off at myself. I cant shake the addiction this time. Why? The euphoria i get from eating is so intoxicating. Eating unhealthy food feels so good and I HATE THAT. I feel good when i know im losing weight, but something just completely killed my self control.
Starting from scratch tomorrow. Im so desperate. I’ll take any advice.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/hly3ih/i_cant_make_it_through_a_whole_week_without/
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