Long time lurker here. I was an overweight child, and was bullied at school. I have had severe body image and self-confidence issues since my early teens. Along with that was a bigger monster lurking in the background, anxiety. The society that I come from frowns upon any mental health issues, and so instead of dealing with the anxiety in a healthy way, I kept ignoring and suppressing those feelings. I developed unhealthy coping mechanisms, the biggest of which was binge eating.
As the years passed, and many difficult things happened in my life, I kept gaining weight because of my emotional eating. Food became my one solace. As I gained weight, my self-esteem kept plummeting. I kept trying diets and fads, hoping for the "miracle cure" that would make me lose weight. I took comfort in the thought that one day, I would be the "ideal" weight, and that day, I would be worth something, everyone would like me, and my family would be proud of me. I was (and sometimes still am) extremely cruel to myself in my thoughts. In those moments, I felt extremely worthless and pathetic for not following through on my plans to follow a diet and exercise plan.
I've been on this journey of "losing weight" for too many years now. Usually this meant going with full determination for a week or two (usually on something unsustainable), and then running out of steam. It also meant envying anyone who could actually do it, most recently my sister and best friend.
Yesterday, I was watching a video, and a simple thought clicked in my brain...its not about the weight. Its not about how I look, and how others perceive me. Its about treating myself with respect. Its about caring enough about myself, my body, and my mind to take care of myself. My self-worth should never fluctuate with my weight. I'm enough, just the way I am. That's it.
And so, here I am on day 1 of my "Get Healthy" (not "Lose Weight") journey. Losing weight will be a consequence of me taking steps to make my lifestyle healthier, and nourish my body and mind. Thank you for reading this incredibly long post. Any advice and suggestions are welcome. Wish me luck!
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/gi3lah/its_not_about_losing_weight_its_about_treating/
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