The perfect version of me is killing me. My goal of a Matthew who never caves in and eats sweets. A Matthew who always makes it to the gym, who turns down desert. He’s fit and strong willed and confident and I cannot continue living in the shadow of who he is in my mind.
I want to be him. I want to make the right decision every time, I want to do what I know is right and have those results, that health, that fitness. I want it so bad and I’ve been working so hard for so long to get there.
But I’m not him. I’m not perfect. I don’t make the right decision every time, far from it. I get stressed, I break down, I indulge and I make a lot of mistakes that push me farther from where I want to be physically.
I will never be Perfect Matthew, and it hurts to much to keep trying. I cannot keep suffering like this because the imperfection that makes me human cuts a chasm between who I am and who I desperately want to be.
You want a real definition of “the best version of Matthew” Best Matthew is not perfect. Sometimes he does make mistakes. Sometimes he binges. But he doesn’t let those mistakes interrupt his path towards improvement. He doesn’t let one mistake become an excuse for another one.
You have two options when you go off track and eat a lot of food you shouldn’t have.
Option 1 is to let that mistake define you as a failure. You’re not perfect because of that one mistake and you’ll never be perfect, so you should give up.
Option 2 is to accept what happened and get back on track as soon as you can. Choose your next meal better, move on with your life.
Don’t tear yourself apart for mistakes. Don’t let those mistakes define you and don’t use them as an excuse to make other mistakes.
If you want a “perfect” version of you to aspire to be, then just be realistic about it. Best You isn’t without mistakes or flaws. Best You does make mistakes. But then they dust themselves off, get back to work and don’t make themselves feel terrible over it.
Best You is not a saint that eats lettuce in slow motion as Eye of the Tiger plays in the background. Sometimes they cave in and eat some cheetos or drink a lot of calories when they’re out with friends. But Best You understands that you have a lifetime of eating and exercise decisions, not just one. And as long as we guide as many of those decisions in the right direction, we’ll have the bodies and health we want.
Don’t idealize the wrong version of Perfect You. That only leads to pain and the real Perfect You is so much better. They are human.
I don’t care if you fell off the horse yesterday. If you can get back on today then Best You is not far away.
Further reading: If you want help cultivating this type of attitude in any part of your life, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck, PhD was incredibly helpful for me. It showed me how letting my failures define me was so dangerous and how highly successful people choose instead to learn from mistakes without beating themselves up.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/en7hpa/my_perfect_goals_are_killing_me/
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