Hello, I have a long history of disordered eating, mostly the fact that I binge ate out of trauma and stress for years and after a life altering event, suddenly did a 180, going from upwards of 230 to 89lbs in an alarmingly short time ( 5 ft 4, small frame ) and from then dealt with anorexia for years. I've been in recovery ( and actually wanted to) for almost 2 years and feel stable enough and comfortable to try and lose the weight i gained from the I EAT WHATEVER I WANT NOW AAH mentality I gained during the whole freeing experience.
However I am facing some difficulty with the fact that I find reading food labels ( I don't currently eat too much processed food anyway because I cook well), weighing food, counting calories and weighing myself triggering and I want to be able to lose ( not sure of weight specifics) 2 sizes in pants and gain the muscle and fitness I lost during an unrelated illness. I've been trying just watching what I eat and eating healthy , not just salads etc because I found out after recovery i actually hate them lol, and moving more without making it obsessive, super restrictive and not fun and all consuming. I want to make it a good lifestyle and avoid any kind of 'diet' to avoid relapse but I do admit i keep getting the BIG DIET thoughts in my head that i check myself for. I also struggle to fight the all or nothing mentality when I'm too burnt out to go to the gym or I'm too anxious to go to my dance class or eat something 'bad'... which is something I think a lot of people struggle with
I'm planning to just maintain this, increase activity more gradually to avoid overwhelming myself and falling into old, damaging habits and track progress with measurements rather than weight
I am planning to wear my old fit bit just to track activity and water and not imputing calories just to ensure my general health is good ( if that makes sense)
Is/was anyone else in a similar situation? I know that if I stick at it, it will all work out but some words of encouragement, tips or some buddies who are also in this nightmare would be great because I don't have any friends who are even trying to lose weight etc irl.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ep02lx/being_healthy_and_comfortable_without_relapse/
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