Le sigh. 33M 5’10” sw 274+ cw 188 gw 174-.
I started losing weight last August. I’ve lost close to 90 freaking pounds. Like. Holy crap that’s so much weight. I am so proud of myself. I’m getting healthier, I have a much better relationship with food, and I feel better physically.
Mentally on the other hand… not great. I look at myself in the mirror and I am having such a hard time seeing the progress. I have photos of before and after. I take photos every 10lbs lost or so, so I can look at the pics side by side and see the change. But on my own, with just me and the mirror, I’m seeing nothing but fat. And the crazy part is, when I was at my heaviest I didn’t see it! I would look in the mirror and think “I’m not that big!” Or I’d see another XXL person in public and think “well at least I’m not that size” not knowing how big I really was. And that’s so weird to me.
I am down from XXL shirts to (tight fitting) mediums. I’m down from a 40” waist to a 32-34. But that’s only if I hike up my pants and tuck in all of my loose skin around my tummy. Getting undressed is painful sometimes.
I know, deep down, that this is all superficial and vain. But I started losing weight for superficial and vain reasons and I’m okay with that. I’m just upset that I’ll eventually have to save up enough money for this surgery. I want to take my shirt off at the beach. I want to feel comfortable with my partner. I have come so far. I’m so freaking proud. But pride isn’t enough for me. It’s not very gentlemanly to admit it. But damnit. I wanna be sexy. For once in my life.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/phmth6/coming_to_terms_with_the_reality_that_i_will/
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