2018 I found myself weighing 122kg/268 pounds (Female, 5'6/171cm). I was depressed for years before that, alcoholic and I don't even know how I got to the 122kg but there I was. Went to a few doctors that suggested bypass surgery, but I don't wanna do it. Went to one more that suggested Victoza; went to a nutritionist who gave me a good diet and started walking regularly. Don't remember how long it took me but I got to 111kg. Nice. So 2019 and I get stuck on the weight loss, dropped the doctors because I changed jobs and was kinda far and covid began, so 2020 I decide to go to new doctors and nutritionists, also doing diets but change from Victoza to Ozempic. I go from 111kg to 96kg. Finally under 100kg.
2020 I also found out I'm Borderline and started treatment, that included meds and therapy.
Now, since February this year, everything became a mess. Traveling around, moving from my state to another, not having fridge, oven etc. but still TRYING at least to eat somewhat healthy. And, honesly, making lots and lots of excpetions to my diet.
Now, my weight loss journey did not begin in 2018. I have been sad about my body and in and out of diets since 2011, at least, when I was still 70kg heavy.
I don't even know how to begin again... I've done all diets, all meds, all everythings but the problem is on my mind and on how disorganized and self indulging i am. and i am tired. i am so so so tired of this fight never being over. of not being able to trust myself to do it. of being so careless about it but at the same time obsessing over it - and all this leading up to a never ending struggle. Now I am going to the gym with a personal and trying IIFYM but was gone on a trip again for 10 days and indulged in alcohol, junk food... So it's September and I'm up to 106kg again. That was my 2021. 10 kilos back after having lost 26 since 2018.
I have no idea what to do. What diet to go back to. Should I go back to taking Ozempic? I really don't want to depend on medicine but I honesly don't think I can do it anymore. My mind is so so so tired of thinking about diets, of reading all there is to know about diets, about exercises, about motivation, about this and that. I get it. I know the concept. I know what HAS TO BE DONE. Why can't I just do it? What is wrong with me?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/pwvsab/on_the_verge_of_giving_up_just_need_to_vent_and/
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