Sorry this is more of a vent but I feel like I'm going crazy. I've slowly gained more and more weight over the years. It's ruined all my relationships, my self esteem and I just keep spiraling out of control. My depression is very bad and I just keep managing, going day by day but not getting any better. I work from home and it just makes everything harder and isolated. I just want to shut the entire world out but I can't. The last few years I've been drinking more and more. All my attempts to get help just seem to dead end and go no where. And all the advice I get I just sort of ignore and sabotage myself.
All this makes losing the weight almost impossible. Every time I try, I bounce back and gain more. I am at my heaviest weight and I feel so hopeless. I feel so fat and disgusting. I've always said, well it's not that bad. You're pretty average. Right now I'm 6ft and around 240lbs and I can't even believe it. Back in the day I was a scrawny 160lb guy. I look in the mirror in absolute horror and it gives me major anxiety. And to cope I just go eat and drink more in sadness, then disgust and regret. What the hell has happened to me? Has anyone dealt with this. What can I do?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/pohmsy/anyone_stuck_in_a_vicious_cycle_of_depression_and/
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