I've put on 15kg since starting my antidepressants in 2019. I could not, for the love of god, lose them for good. Was yoyoing till November 2020 when I reached my highest weight, 75,7kg!
I was lying to myself that I was okay with it since everyone kept telling me I look ok and that thick thighs are sexy, but I didn't feel good, clothes didn't fit nicely, I had belly fat (which I never had before), I was too shy to wear skirts or shorts outside. In November 2020 I was pushed by my mom a bit, she can be quite, lets say - straightforward or a bit hurtful at times and that made me start with the wrong intentions. Losing weight for others... obsessing over food, scale, looks, forgetting what was the main reason of wanting to lose weight.
On a petite girl like me (155cm - 5'1'') the weight showed fast, but I'm lucky it also shows fast when I lose it haha. Mid March I realized I have to do this for myself, for my health, to not just live in deficit, but also move my body, work on flexibility and muscles. Of course it difficult, I still struggle to find workouts that make it tolerable and honestly ... disordered thinking still comes back at times, but I am determined to keep it up with good intentions and appreciate the hard work I'm putting in.
I still treat myself to foods I like, I cook for myself a lot more as well. I stopped measuring and counting every single food, since I know approx how much it is (might not work for everyone of course). If I gain a kilo, that's fine, if I lose some - yay. I am nearing my goal weight and I'm taking it slow now. I am getting used to my body now, time to be kind to myself.
To be honest I still don't see much of a difference, but I feel it! And I fit into skirts I really like so that's a huge bonus :P
Here are the before and afters (tw self harm scars)
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ojddnu/always_struggled_with_self_image_i_think_im/
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