23F 5'2 SW: 205 CW: 150 GW: 120(?)
Little bit of backstory: I was skinny for most of my childhood but my mother (who was obese) convinced me that I was fat. I developed severe body dysmorphia and an eating disorder. I truly believed I was really really overweight. Even when I weight 115lbs. Then in my attempt to recover from my eating disorder, I became obese.
I've lost a lot of weight now. But i've reached this threshold where i'm about to no longer be overweight. I'll be small and actually be able to see it in the mirror for the first time in my life. But because i'm so convinced that I've never been thin, my brain is also convinced that I can't ever be thin. So every time I try to continue losing weight, I come up with some reason why I can't/shouldn't. Like I'm trying to prove my mom right when I should be trying to prove my mom wrong. I don't know. I feel like Im messing myself up on purpose and I want to stop doing this. I want to be lean and thin in a healthy way. I feel uncomfortable being overweight. I don't want my mom to be right that I have to be overweight and that I'm always failing.
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ia1ggw/i_keep_selfsabotaging_and_i_dont_know_how_to_stop/
No comments:
Post a Comment