Posting this from my alt account because yes, I am deeply ashamed. On a mobile, sorry formatting. English is my first language but I’m still fat from perfect at it.
Well... where do I start?
I’m a classic binge eater. I eat when happy sad angry frustrated and bored. I like food. I enjoy cooking. I know I eat way too much but can’t stop myself because I have very little self control and always have. If I were abusing drugs/alcohol like I did food - I’d be the worst addict.
I’ve had a fat childhood with lots of bullying from kids and my so called mother. I have a huge emotional baggage from her and we don’t speak anymore (last we saw each other was 12 years).
I used to be bulimic and lost a shed load of weight at 14-17 wrecked my teeth and throat though. Idiot.
I am convinced I am worthless and I have some very negative thoughts/opinions about myself and eating. I know I know I know. I’m on anti anxiety medication which has helped my moods, but not my eating... classic. I’ve had lots of therapy as surprise, surprise my eat disorders etc stem from my shitty childhood. I’ve yo-yo dieted for years, but it never sticks. Again, classic!
Anyway, I’m starting to beat myself up and go off on a tangent. Let me cut to the chase: WHY should I lose weight? I need to convince myself. Like, really truly convince myself.
My doctor my friends my husband, hell even my 3 year old says I’m too big!
I have three kids 5,3 and 8 months old. I’ve been somewhat happily married 12 years. I consider myself to be of average intelligence with some common sense (not when it comes to food). My husband has tried talking to me about it but I always react poorly.
I’m starting to not find clothes in the shop that fit. Chairs creak when I sit on them. Sex life is DEAD. I’m always tired cause I’m carrying about 40+ kg too much. This lockdown has also stopped me getting my usual exercise so I’ve added on easily 5-6 kg just in the past 6 weeks. sob
I’ve read up that obesity increases heart disease, cancer (shit I don’t want that) and diabetes (Im showing signs of pre diabetes). Does it really? I’m in denial, I know I am.
But even knowing this, I still eat with wreckless abandonment! What’s wrong with me? How do I get motivated? How to set goals?
Go ahead, blow up my inbox. Send me your tips tricks stories and motivation. Please be kind, I’ve already heard enough bullying remarks my whole life.
Thank you for listening to my self abusing rant.
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/gfr5b5/why_should_i_lose_weight_its_not_that_important/
No comments:
Post a Comment