I'm a 34 year old male who is a week away from graduating college with my BS. I've posted that I got a job that starts in a month on Facebook and it's a really great first job out of college that pays well. So I'm proud of myself for the amount of effort I put in looking for work and finding a good job.
But here's the thing, I'm 380 pounds. College was super stressful for me. It took me 5 years to complete going full time. I gained a significant amount of weight over the last 10 years because I was poor, didn't feel adequate in life, and struggle with feelings of unworthiness.
I've desired love for so long and I always blame my weight for never finding anyone. I met someone last year, had a 10 month relationship with someone that I loved, but she broke up with me. It made me gain more weight.
Recently, within the last 2 days at since my post on FB, I've had three people that know me address their concern with my weight. They are all telling me I need to work on my health and heart. But I know this already and I just don't know why I can't kick the habit of eating.
Some days I do okay and some days are garbage with my eating. I live by myself, so I have no one to really hold me accountable when they see me start to make something to eat. Living alone sucks sometimes, but I just don't see myself living with someone else unless I have a larger space.
The point is, I want to lose weight. The best shape of my life was when I was 25 and about to go into the Navy. I weighed 210 pounds then at 5'10" and was about 10% body fat. But I made some mistakes, didn't go in last minute, and life started to take a downward spin. I got my life back in order when I entered college 5 years ago.
As I said earlier, I'm graduating, starting a new job, and really am looking forward to the gym opening back up so I can swim again. I need to find some strength to moderate my food intake. Right now, it's out of control. So much that it has given me gout or plantars fantiitis. This makes doing a simple walk around the neighborhood hard. Swimming was starting to make me feel good about myself again and it is low impact.
I guess I just really needed to say all this. And I don't like everyone coming to me all at once telling me how much I need to know I need to work on my health. It is something that runs through my mind every single day. EVERY SINGLE DAY FOREVER. I never go a day without thinking about my weight, without thinking about if this is the day I'll have a heart attack and die.
That's it. Thanks for listening.
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/glba86/i_dont_know_if_this_is_the_place_to_talk_about/
No comments:
Post a Comment