My very best friend is trying to lose weight with me but constantly makes excuses. What can I do?

So sorry for the long post. I created a throwaway for this question in case she sees it.

Here are some examples:

She regularly cancels gym plans. I'm talking canceling at least once or twice a week, and so we end up only working out together once or, rarely, twice a week.

When she DOES go to the gym, she usually has an excuse for hardly working out (depressed, tired, not feeling it, wishes her husband was there to support her the way mine is, keeps comparing herself to the twig teenager in the corner, etc). A lot of times she'll do a couple reps and then sit on her phone and tell me she doesn't want to be there, and goes and sits in the sauna because she says it makes her feel like she worked out.

She loves fast food. Almost every day she and her husband eat out because they hate cooking. Almost every time we go work out, she says she craves Jack in the Box, Arby's, whatever. I told her she should consider getting healthier options when the eat out, like lettuce wrapped burgers. She then replies that she wants the bun. Ok, then don't get your large breve latte later. She then replies that she wants the breve. Ok, then don't get a large, get the smallest size. She then replies that she doesn't want the smallest size. Or, I'll suggest that we get a salad together. "I don't want a salad." Ok, then let's get grilled chicken and veggies. "I want Hardee's." Ok, then don't get a soda. "But I want Dr. Pepper." Ok, get diet. "I don't like diet!"

Then, when it comes time to weigh in, I've lost 6 lbs and she lost 1. She is disappointed but says, to make herself feel better, that she gained muscle from working out (literally a max of 5 times the last month) so she's probably lost closer to 5lbs.

Then, I'll suggest that she go to therapy for her depression (her job offers free therapy as a benefit.) She doesn't think it will help/doesn't think her husband will be OK with it/brushes it off. Then I suggest she talk to her doctor about an antidepressant I'm taking that has worked super well for me. She says her husband is against medication and wants her to figure it out naturally.

After that, she wants her husband to work out with her, get healthy with her, etc - she sees my husband supporting me and my journey, and wants that too. But then her husband says she has to get her eating under control before he'll consider going to the gym (he won't even go on the free guest passes she has). So then she gets depressed and I keep reminding her that yes, support is wonderful, but she needs to do it for HER because her husband could never come around. Waiting for someone else is pointless.

I honestly don't know what to do because I love her SO much and it kills me to see her so sad when she wants to wear certain clothes, but she feels too fat. Or when she talks about having kids and she wants to be healthy and fit first. Or when she sees a skinny girl and gets depressed for the rest of the day. I want to get healthy with her but her constant excuses are exhausting to be around. I also don't want to drop to my goal weight in a year and make her feel bad about herself (I don't plan on stopping - I will just feel bad).

Am I doing something wrong? What can I do? Do I need more empathy? :/

submitted by /u/Astird_BOBODDY
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ernytb/my_very_best_friend_is_trying_to_lose_weight_with/