I'm here to share something that has always been so powerful for me and impactful upon hearing: ~you always have a choice~.
In May 2018, I started my fitness journey, at 110kgs. And by January 2019, I'd lost almost 30kgs (almost 60 pounds) and was at my lowest: 84kgs. I would work out 4-5 times a week - absolutely loved the journey. It was about honoring the gift that I've been given: my health and a fully abled body . It was my way of showing gratitude and of making sure I have a body that will carry me through the long life that I aspire to live. I'm 28F now, 167cm tall.
Jump to July 2019, I immigrate, and the stress and emotional toll of my immigration has set me back significantly. I gained most of the weight back, my eating disorder was triggered, and my depression too. I was devastated - and I could see how people are treating me, once again, based on my looks. We do live in a rather shallow society, and I think it's a fact. I think this stung the most, because I've seen how different I was treated when I was thinner.
A couple months ago I decided to get professional help; i started seeing a therapist, a psychiatric for antidepressants, and a nutritionist briefly. I took control over my eating habits with the help of meds and supplements. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week and I enjoy it. I was too afraid to weigh myself at my heaviest here, in my new home, but now I'm at 93kgs. It's very humbling to be starting all over again. But it's the choice I'm making. Sometimes things are not as hard as our brains make us believe.
I came to write this for anyone who may be in my position and to hold myself accountable. Hang in there. Whatever happens, it's okay because you always have a choice, and I hope you have the courage to make the right choice for you.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/et68f6/im_losing_itall_over_again/
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