quick about me: I'm 25F and am about 310lbs, which is down -15 from the last time i weighed myself a couple weeks ago. I'm getting my MFA in writing, and we're talking about personal goals other than creative writing to engage with so we don't burn ourselves out. And my automatic thought was "losing weight" since that had been my focus for ... well ever.
But it made me start thinking... I've wasted so much time making myself feel like shit about my weight. I've always been heavy, 200ish pounds for on puberty onward, gained 75 in college, gained 45lbs once i was put on mirtazapine (this was a whole thing, i posted about it last week being very upset because I wass unaware it was an appetite stimulate, though I obviously had some very unhealthy habits, and a very unhealthy relationship with food in general so it wasn't just the medications fault, but it certainly didn't help)... and i'm just... Tired? I'm tired of making myself feel like shit because of my weight. I think my overall personal goal should shift to wellness in general. Build a better relationship with food (with my registered dietitian, because the last time I even thought about nutrition, the food pyramid was a thing and i thought doing an 800 calorie/day diet was acceptable), exercising in ways that make my body feel good and get me moving and mobile, going to therapy to deal with my anxiety and depression and grief (from loosing my mom in 2017 - big emotional eating trigger), like... I don't want my life to be surrounded with the constant need to lose weight. I want wellness, obviously health is a big part of this. A healthier me will be achieved by losing weight - I won't have to worry about my A1C (which is 5.6, pre-diabetic) and i'm sure my bad knee will thank me... but I think it's another large part is healing mentally I need to do that will start helping me feel better, you know?
I dunno, maybe I've been seeing too many #bossbabeinspo stuff that belong embroidered on a pillow. I just think my "lose it" journey is more about losing the weight, but the unhealthy mindset as well. and i really wish I had recognized that earlier, but... better late than never, right?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/10ren9q/one_of_my_classes_got_me_thinking/
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