So. I've been going to this class, along with others, faithfully for several months. I love the instructor, I love her music and I love her choreography. I do not love the women in the front row. The instructor appears to be good friends with them and they hang out outside of class. I would think that's great if it didn't feel so alienating in the gym. These women are not welcoming. They look through everyone who is not in the front row and will not socialize with anyone else even if they try to say hello. I know from experience. There have been some fatphobic comments that made me feel gross, as someone who is far away from the loss goal. Some get there half an hour before class starts and they mark the entire front row with their belongings until the rest of the women get there. They will speak loudly about people getting too close to them in other classes, which is a valid issue to complain about, but the way it is said comes off as very passive aggressive. I used to bring my 9 year old with me but she noticed the vibe before I did and she won't come anymore. I tried to tell her not to worry about them and it seems I can't take my own advice!
I didn't go for the last 2 weeks, partially due to being busy and I consistently feel angry during that particular class. I went back tonight to give it another shot and get back to more intense routines. Immediately, it was the same bullshit. I got there 15 minutes early, once again nobody but the same women were allowed up front because spots were saved. The instructor turned on some very old songs from like 2 years ago and she and the front row women started dancing to them. The rest of us didn't know what to do and the 2 women next to me expressed how weird they felt. We agreed that they make us feel out of place. Class officially starts and I'm in the 2nd row. The instructor asked everyone in the 2nd row to move forward by a few feet so the people in the back could spread out. No big thing, I did it.
Except, I was behind one of the women who talks about needing her space but she kept getting into mine. She had 6 feet in front of her to dance forward when it was time, I had half that because of the space she was taking up. Okay, I took smaller steps and took up less space. We had a few new songs and the instructor and front row divas were the only ones who knew each one by heart, I'm assuming they do them while they're hanging out or after classes when the rest of us leave. That doesn't bother me too much, but the eye rolls when the rest of us don't know what we are doing on the first try are a bit much. Finally, we were on another new song. The intro was a little tricky and the woman in front of me came very close to running into me twice. I was trying to get my bearings after the first time and figure out what I was supposed to be doing and then suddenly she was within a foot of the front of my body. Before I realized what I had just done, I flipped my hand in her direction, said "whatever" and left 10 minutes early.
Part of me feels like an idiot and part of me is glad I realized that i just don't belong there. I go to 2 other instructors' classes in the same 2 facilities and their atmosphere is completely different. Nobody saves spots for people who are not there, everyone says hi and is friendly, the instructors don't give anyone special attention unless there's a fitness concern. I feel like i was unintentionally rude to the instructor. I really like her. Her friend getting in my space and the rest of them behaving like The Plastics isn't her fault. I do think she could ask them to stop saving spots or maybe have everyone rotate to mix it up a little. I probably shouldn't go there anymore, i feel like I can't show my face there after that. I'm sure only like 3 people noticed what I did and maybe nobody thought anything of it. I know nobody heard me, I didn't say it loudly and the music was at a high volume. People aren't paying as much attention to us as we think they are.
If I felt it would do any good, I would politely bring it up to the instructor but I just don't see it solving any problems. I can't tell a group of friends that their clique needs to dissolve, I can't make them be kind or inclusive. That space just is not for me and it really hurts to say it out loud. I needed to air my embarrassment and my frustration with people in zumba classes who feel they own the front row and behave as though everyone behind them is invisible. I deserve to take up my fair share of space, I deserve to feel that I belong where I am, I deserve to screw up a dance move without getting an eye roll or a side eye. I deserve to move to the front row one day if I want to. We are all in the gym or studio, we can share like adults. For anyone who may have actually read this, thank you. I feel like I need to preemptively defend myself for some reason, I'm irrationally afraid I'm going to be ripped apart. I'm still going to my hands down favorite class in the morning and I can't wait.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/z1gfjz/cattiness_in_zumba_is_getting_to_me_and_i_left/
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