I met a guy online recently. We seem very compatible in many ways and he has an amazing personality/sense of humor. We chatted for a couple days and then talked on the phone. During our first conversation over the phone one of the first things he brought up is how he used to be obese as a kid/teen. Apparently he had a growth spurt and lost the weight. I could tell since he was bringing it up almost immediately that it’s something that’s top of mind for him when he’s meeting people. It’s been 20 years since he was obese but it’s very apparent that those adolescent years really made an impact on his self worth. It didn’t bother me at all and I was happy to discuss it with him. I had no idea what to expect physically when we met up for coffee. But omg. He is gorgeous. I was literally staring at him the whole time. Anyway, things went well and we’re meeting up again. Jokingly (but not really) I told him I was excited for another chance to stare at him and told him he’s super cute. He pretty much deflects compliments and I can tell it makes him really uncomfortable to acknowledge his attractiveness, which is cool bc I find it endearing, although at times he can be a bit self-deprecating. He has mentioned that he hates his body and that it makes him extremely self conscious. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable but I want to let him know he’s attractive but I can tell I’m up against years and years of bullying. There’s a lot to unpack with all of it so if anyone has any advice on how to navigate this please hook a sister up! Thank you in advance!
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/jbf858/need_advice_about_dating_a_guy_who_used_to_be/
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