I'm an 18-year-old woman and I've always been overweight and/or obese. I was 200 when I was 12, like, this has always been a part of me, but I ended up losing about 40 pounds when I was 15 to 16. It was amazing, I felt so good physically. It started going back up slowly though when I was 17. Like... maybe a pound or two every few weeks or months. Not a lot at all and I kept procrastinating fixing my eating habits that I'd slipped back into slowly. I can remember the exact meal that started it too. (Damn cheese sticks...)
Well... I'm 245 pounds today. My knees hurt when I walk down stairs, I get out of breath when walking short distances when two years ago I was in marching band and walking and running a few miles every weekend. While everyone was losing weight the past 6 months I gained nearly 60. My confidence that had been fairly decent is totally going away. I don't fit in all my old jeans. I have to rotate between two because I can't afford any new ones beside those. I just look... bad, if I'm going to be honest. My face is so swollen and I can feel the fat on my body.
I lost 10 pounds within the last two months, but I gained it back plus five. I can't figure out how I had so much self discipline at 15. The worst thing is, I know how to start. Count calories. Humble myself by knowing just how much I ate today, and I can't tell if I'm indifferent and lazy or straight up terrified, which is holding me back.
I worked so hard to be almost at a healthy weight to now be morbidly obese and I feel it and it's so figuratively and literally painful because I can't do or wear everything I used to. I think the worst part is that I want to go to my doctor and a referral to a person who can get me a proper plan, but my parents are so defensive about it and think I think I'm ugly and try to reassure me I look great and it's fine. It's not. I don't think I'm ugly either, I'm just not at my prime and I'd look and feel better being healthy. I'm on their insurance, which is why I need to go through them.
I know where to start, I know what to do, but I'm struggling so hard to do it all over again and to say no.
To anyone who's lost it and gained it all back, or just anyone who's gotten over the initial hurdle: how the hell do you let yourself actually, properly start? And do you have any general advice as well?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ji9hbt/my_weight_is_out_of_control_and_i_keep_struggling/
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