I'm having a hard time adjusting to major changes. It feels never ending.

I am a 34 year old man who is one week into my new diet. I decided to try the Nutrisystem diet, thinking it would be easier and more structured. I also suffer from panic disorder and I smoke. I guess I just want to write about my story and hopefully get some reassurance from others who have done this. I am 418lbs when I started and otherwise in good health.

I am scared. There are no excuses for letting myself get into this situation. I don't know the reason for it.. Depression, anxiety... Eating to feel safe? I don't know, but what I know is that I'm having some sort of wake up call after having an extreme panic attack a week ago.

Before I started, I drank mountain dew and ate whatever. I treated my body like crap. It's shameful, really and I hate myself for it. I decided I can't just continue on like that. It has to change and it has to change right now.

So, my panic has gotten so bad that my doctor has decided I should increase my celexa (ssri) from 20mg to 30mg. So now I'm dealing with side effects from that, mostly sweating and insomnia and feeling sick. I'm drinking plenty of water, and I'm so miserable. The taste of the food isn't that great but I don't care about that. I am sick. I am downright sick to the point where I don't want to get out of bed. I'm likely enduring caffeine withdrawal, sugar withdrawal, and medicine side effects for the next couple of weeks.

Honestly, I sometimes don't know if I'm going to survive this. I just want to feel better. I weighed myself yesterday and I was 413. 5lbs down but likely water weight. I just want to feel better.

Does anyone have any advice that has went through such dramatic changes all at once? I guess I just want to know if I'm putting myself in danger from the massive changes or if it will get better. It's hard to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you all for your time in reading this. I just want to be a better person and healthy.

submitted by /u/xxjrbxx
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/j5ful4/im_having_a_hard_time_adjusting_to_major_changes/