I can't ever say I had a difficult life despite being born and living my entire life in a 3rd world country my parents did everything they could to educate me and keep me happy, unfortunately that included following all my wishes, whatever they were. That lead to a kid that ate fast-food whenever he desired, at least once a week.
With that information you can take that I was never in the slim side of life, the lowest point I could remember was at 100kgs (at the time i was 190cm, now I'm 195cm) when I actually had a motivation to live. Since then I got diagnosed with clinical depression and everything seems so much hard now. I'm currently weighting 145kgs, gaining 15 of these since the quarantine started since I rarely even leave my bed.
The thing I've always noticed the most was my chest, even at my lowest point I still had a considerable amount of fat in there and that made me live my entire life (and still so) using things to cover it, I was known in school for wearing the uniform's jacket even at 35°C. That, unfortunately, seems like a family trait since I have at least three cousins with the same issue, the fat just seems to really like that place.
I'm not here to gather sympathy, since it became my own fault ever since I was able to decide what to eat but still chose to continue with my way of living, I'm just here to vent. This is my highest weight ever and I just don't know what else to do, and it sure won't go away with well wishes. Actually, I do know what to do, I just don't have a smidge of will to do so.
I have no goals anymore, since I've locked my university at my psychologist and psychiatrist's recommendation. I wasn't doing anything there anyway. I don't have a fixed schedule or anything to look forward to, nor I think I'll ever have anymore.
I don't enjoy life, and the fact that I'm only gaining weight makes living even less worthwhile
Also, I already talk with both my psychiatrist and psychologist about this too, so I'd be thankful if you skipped that part if you ever bother to post anything in this thread. But feel free to say anything if my post made you think of something that would help, since the only people I talk to are my psychologist every week and the psychiatrist once a month.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/jctbob/gaining_weight_is_such_a_slippery_slope/
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