I have a very stressful job and have gained a lot of weight since starting it five years ago. I found myself ordering takeout on my days off as a treat with the belief that it would help me relax and, on particularly stressful days, I would order food instead of eating the perfectly good food I’d brought with me to work because “I deserved it”. This has led to off and on dieting and over-restricting and binging and purging, and, although these were not brand new behaviors, they became more challenging to deal with. For the past three weeks I’ve been doing really well with tracking my food and not ordering take out and I even started exercising, but today was really stressful. I was crying in my car on my way home and found myself wondering if my boyfriend was planning to get takeout and what I could eat to feel better. Then the thought came into my mind easily, without me trying to convince myself of its truth, “eating bad isn’t going to make me feel better”. I suddenly felt so proud of myself because I realized my mindset around food was really changing and I’m not “dieting” anymore, but eating in a more mindful way. After 20 years of starving myself and binging and purging and eating my feelings, I never thought I would start to see food as just food and not a coping skill or the enemy or something that had to be obsessively controlled. Tonight I will eat the food I already made and read a book to manage my stress. I just wanted to share this with people who might understand.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/nqzbzx/i_made_a_breakthrough_today/
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