This past week has been... awful. One week ago today, my family lost my uncle in a very sudden and tragic way. In fact, my mom and I who are doing weight watchers together were just leaving a meeting when we heard the news. The rest of the week was extremely stressful as I juggled work along with lending support/help as we had to plan the funeral.
My relationship with food has always been the source of my weight problems. As a kid when I felt sad/upset, my instinct was to eat a cookie. As I got older, it became eat the whole row of cookies until it became eat the whole pack of cookies in the past couple of years. Binge eating in stressful/upsetting situations has always been my downfall. And this week, all I could think about was how wonderful it'd be stop by the bakery and get some cupcakes, some cookies, anything to soothe the hurt.
I told myself I could let myself have this just for this week because, after all, I deserved it. I've already lost 15 pounds since starting in January and besides - this was special. This was a situation no one saw coming and I deserved treats just to get through this.
But if this situation has taught me anything, it's that life can come at you hard. And I had to talk to myself all week long and remind myself that if something happened next week, God forbid, I couldn't justify continuing this pattern. It was how I wound up morbidly obese in the first place; I put this off until next week because I just had to get through this week.
So I ate well. I drank my water. I tracked everything. Saturday, during a memorial event at my uncle's house, I was the most tempted. My dad had cooked homemade pork butts and I wanted to pile my sandwich high with meat and slather on the BBQ sauce. I told myself I'd done so well all week, I could just maybe not count this one day.
But my dad's girlfriend had specifically made a large pan of green beans for me and had bought sugar free BBQ sauce for me in encouragement. It felt disrespectful to just pile on the bad food. So I still had a BBQ sandwich, just with less meat than I thought I wanted. I used the sugar free BBQ sauce. I piled my plate with the green beans she'd cooked for me. And though I did eat potato salad and baked beans, I chose much smaller portions and tracked it all.
That evening, when the desserts were brought out, I did help myself to a sliver of red velvet cake and a coconut cupcake someone had brought. Again, I tried using the excuse that I deserved it because I'd done so well this week. However, one of my great uncles asked me to go get him a cupcake and I saw that they were all gone, so I gave him mine instead and didn't feel really that upset about it. I ate my sliver of red velvet and told myself that was more than enough - and it was. In the end, I did still dip into 20 of my weeklies.
With all the stress of the past week, I fully expected to have either gained weight or stayed dead even. However, today, I found out I actually lost 4.4 pounds last week, probably from all of the (sometimes literal) running around I had to do with family as well as tracking and making the better decision, no matter how hard.
I wanted to cry.
Y'all, this week has been awful in more ways than I can count and I just wanted to lay down and quit. But I didn't. And now I know if I can get through this week without binging, then I have no excuse for future weeks. And I hope someone else reading this who has the same issues binge eating that I do can have some inspiration from this post. I loved my uncle dearly and will miss him so much, and I'm glad I didn't use him as an excuse to treat myself poorly.
If I can do it, you can do it. Take it one day at a time. You got this too.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/f5jiyn/scale_victory_and_nsv_all_in_one/
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