Eating disorder? I can't tell anymore.

I've been wanting to lose weight for the longest time now. At first, it was portion control. Which brought me from 120lbs to 109lbs in a few months or so, (I'm 5"4 and 13yrs old) but lately I've been feeling so complicated and having suicidal thoughts. I've been having binges where I eat even when I feel sickly full. A recent "binge" where I ate a lot of bread had brought me from 108lbs to 116lbs. Throwing up has been on my mind to cure myself from these binges. I've been thinking of just not eating for a week. I've even been reading the nutrition labels and avoiding healthy foods like apples,and such. I've even been judging people on what they eat. Now that I've typed this all out, it seems like an eating disorder. But I'm not so sure anymore

Is this an eating disorder? If so, which one? It feels like a mess, a mess I wanna get out of.

Thank you! I love this sub so much. It's so nice to see people reach their goals and to see people beginning their journey, have a nice day! :3

submitted by /u/I_am_a_dino
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/fc24t5/eating_disorder_i_cant_tell_anymore/