22F
I just recently graduated college last month (BS in biology!!) and through my years of college, I went from a 18 year old athletic hottie to a squishy 22 year old meatball. I gained 50 pounds in two years (140 to 190 lbs at 5’3”) and in my third year of college, I made it a point to begin losing it. So I downloaded my fitness pal and that’s when the disordered eating began. I would literally cry if I went over my calorie budget, so I essentially starved myself by only eating Cheerios and vanilla soy milk for 2 or 3 meals a day (which is actually delicious but not super nutritious).
I ended up losing 25ish pounds that way and looked great, but I was so unhappy and depressed and filled with anxiety about food — it’s all I would think about. But I looked great, and my family was so supportive of my new “diet” that they literally got me boxes of Cheerios for Christmas. Little did they know they were supporting my eating disorder.
Fast forward to the pandemic, I’ve gained 10 pounds, probably lost some muscle mass, and feel like absolute garbage. There’s no gyms to go to and all I do now that I’m graduated is sleep and go to work and stress eat.
I want nothing more in my life than to lose my college weight and get back down to my high school weight (150, preferably 145). At ~180 (I think I am now, I’m terrified of looking at the scale because I know it’ll trigger my ED) this isn’t super unattainable, some of y’all have lost 100 pounds! But how do I do this in a covid world while working a very stressful healthcare job? My job right now is literally to immunize nursing home residents with the vaccine and believe it or not, it’s mentally exhausting.
Any help would be appreciated. I suppose this is one of those tacky New Years resolutions, huh.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/kop672/the_only_time_i_lost_weight_was_when_i_had_an/
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