TLDR: I (38m) got on Reddit today just surfing and came across a progress pic that gave me some inspiration. The road is going to be tough with the depression and mental traumas I’ve had recently. But I finally think I’m at that point where enough is enough.
For those who care to know a bit of my story, read on.
I started overeating when I was a kid, didn’t know why until earlier this year when I learned of something traumatic that happened to me around the same time (had been a suppressed memory, whole other story though).
Around the time I turned 30, my doctor informed me I was pre-diabetic, my BP was high, and so was my cholesterol (triglycerides wouldn’t even register they were so high). This news scared me as I’ve seen what diabetes can do to someone.
My doctor prescribed me phentermine and suggested I try the sugar-busters diet. I researched it and found that it was something I could handle as it wasn’t super restrictive like the Adkins and Keto diets are. I could still consume carbs and natural sugars, but nothing refined and/or processed. So, I started my journey to being healthy. I allowed myself one cheat meal a week and started exercising, I hadn’t felt that good in years!
I went from weighing 306 pounds to 189 pounds in just over a year. I had to get a whole new wardrobe that wasn’t as baggy as I used to prefer, but still not fitting as I was still self-conscious of the extra skin on my abdomen and chest. I maintained between 189 and 200 for a few years and all was good, until it wasn’t.
I found myself enjoying craft beers and became friends with a co-worker who ended up being my drinking buddy on the weekends. My weight went up, fluctuating between 205 and 220, which I was okay with as my body type has always been stocky and a little bit of extra weight was carried well on me. My blood work was great, I was no longer pre-diabetic, and cholesterol was now normal.
One day at work, I stood up and almost doubled over as pain shot down my leg, long story short I needed a spinal fusion because of degenerative disk disease. I was put on narcotic pain meds, anti-inflammatories, and gabapentin for nerve pain. All of my healthy habits came to a grinding halt as depression set in.
I was determined to get better though. I had the surgery and recovery was the most painful thing I ever experienced (for the first couple of months). I was getting back to normal, but still found myself severely limited in what I could physically do than before this all started. The meds made me gain weight and I was drinking more than I should’ve been, and my weight started fluctuating between 230 and 250.
My mom’s health started to decline, which was extremely stressful and when she passed away last year, I was devastated. Life was going downhill before her passing and it went downhill faster than the stock market after 9/11 when she passed.
But I digress, I’ve surpassed my previous high weight of 306 by a few pounds over the last couple of months. This past week has been one of the lowest points in my life thus far, but I’ve got a couple of friends that are more like family that have helped me through it.
I want to be healthy again, but it won’t be easy due to my physical limitations. I’m scared beyond belief that I will hurt myself exercising while trying to embark on this journey.
I’m sorry this has been such a long post, I guess I needed to tell my story in hopes it will help someone else and that I will find support from this community.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/jn01p0/for_the_second_time_in_my_life_im_tired_of_being/
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