I’m fed up with it all

I’m fed up with it all.

I’m fed up with the calorie counting, the feeling like shit when I go over, the fuck it mentality and fed up with the subsequent binges and purges.

I’m fed up with the stress binge eating, the guilt ridden gym trip, the standing in front of the mirror knowing if I was a little more disciplined I’d be loving what I saw.

I’m fed up with feeling giant, and fed up with knowing I’m just 15 pounds away from my goal.

I’m fed up with knowing I was 15 pounds away from my goal last June, too.

I’m fed up with feeling so stuck.

So I’m going to start again tomorrow. I’m going to count out and prep my meals and lean into this community for support.

I’m going to ask for all your tips and tricks and hope that I don’t get told to do intermittent fasting as the cure all for weight troubles (no judgement-I just binge/purge every time I try it).

I’m going to remind myself that 2 years is a long time to be clean of eating disorder habits; so let’s not swap the bulimia for BED.

Nows the time to start over, and hold this community’s hand until I can step on my own.

I really want to reach my goal you guys. It’s so close and has been so close for months now. I’m frustrated and mad at myself but I gotta just move on. And I want to say thank you to each of you for teaching me this.

Hopefully this longish post will resonate with someone. Hopefully I can stop feeling so worthless and disgusting by tomorrow morning.

Let’s do this, loseit.

submitted by /u/heywhatsupitsyahboi
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/fgqlem/im_fed_up_with_it_all/