(this is a bit of a rant post)
Well here I am again. I grew up fat from about ages 6-18 before losing a ton of weight and finally becoming a normal size. Weight that has fluctuated up and down for the last 15 or so years (sometimes fluctuating quite a bit). I did another big drop about 6 years ago but I’ve been steadily gaining it back for about the last 4, with some spikes and brief drops in between. Quarantine especially hasn’t been great for my weight. I stopped drinking back in March 2020 which I’m proud of but my terrible eating and lack of exercise got the best of me. I was already pretty overweight when it started and figure I put on at least 20 more lbs over the last year. I’ve felt terrible, physically and mentally. A few weeks back during a complete lack fucks I decided to just step on the scale and see what the damage was, because I was getting to my wits with my weight. A whopping 250 lbs (as a 6’ male), tying my all time heaviest weight from highschool. In a way it was strangely motivating since I already felt so terrible and my confidence was shot so low that I was expecting 10 or 20 lbs heavier than that. It’s time to change though. I cleaned up my eating over the last few weeks. I cut out soda, snacks, and late night binges. I’m still eating big portions, especially at dinner, but I’m trying to curb those too. I’m eating more fruit and cutting make omg smarter choices. I’m walking more, and after a few successful weeks of dieting I decided to buy a treadmill on a whim to pick jogging back up at home. I’ve had 3 great runs 3 days in a row (relatively great anyway considering my current weight, I expected worse). This morning I’m down to 242.6. I’m only at the very beginning of this journey, but I’m finally feeling primed to make the change once again after years of feeling my weight creep up and the anxiety that comes along with that. I want to be in better shape by the time my new baby is born in July, and I want to be thin when my family and friends see me once again later this autumn, fitting the slim vision that I hope they have of me in their mind’s eye. I have a long road to go this year to get to 170, and then the even harder part of maintaining it will start again, that I’ve failed again and again. But right now I don’t care. Even though I’m fat again, I’m sick of it and ready to make the change.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ljgq4k/im_fat_again/
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