note: big blocks of text ahead! I'm 5'7, 18, female, 149-150 pounds
um, well, I guess I’ve had body image problems since junior year in high school? I had stopped playing volleyball but kept up the same eating habits that I had had while being super active, so I gained a lot of weight. I used to be skinny and muscled, and then I was kind of chunky. My parents commented on my weight a lot and made me feel bad about it (they're both very overweight). When quarantine started, since I was at home all the time, I didn’t really go out and buy food like I used to, so I wasn’t eating too much anymore. I decided I wanted to lose weight over quarantine, so I kind of just stopped eating some meals? Like not eating breakfast and eating small lunch? and trying to calorie count everything I ate? And then my parents started commenting that I was looking a lot better and had clearly lost weight so I kept it up. I started college in-person this past fall, and all through last semester and during this semester I’ve kept up a habit of counting every calorie I consume every day on the calculator app on my phone, and I feel really shitty when I consume more than like 1200 a day (I try to keep it at around 1000). When I went home for winter break my parents told me I was looking really good, and I don't look super skinny (I'm average, leaning towards skinny I'd say) so I don't know if I'm actually doing anything bad?
I didn’t keep it up as well at home over winter break, because unlike the dining hall the meals at home don’t have set calorie amounts? Plus I feel like the portion sizes are way too big at dinner when we all eat together as a family, so i wouldn’t eat breakfast and I’d eat a small lunch because I wasn’t able to know the exact amount of calories I was consuming. And then I would lose patience and consume a regular sized breakfast and lunch and feel horrible after dinner. I got my wisdom teeth taken out so I felt better for bit since I couldn’t eat much, but that only lasted a week.
But, especially when my roommate goes home for the weekend, I feel the need to eat a lot, so I’ll eat like a whole pint of ice cream and then feel even worse? So I’m not at an unhealthy weight or anything (I’m around 149-150 pounds - I bought a scale a couple weeks into the semester - and I’m 5’7 so I could stand to lose some more) but it’s getting to the point where I feel like I’m focusing way too much on what I’m eating, calorically, and what I look like and weigh.
Plus, I’m kind of a picky eater, so I feel like I don’t really enjoy eating that much anymore since I usually go for the foods in the dining hall that I already know are pretty okay (fries, pizza, breadsticks, etc) so I’m probably not getting enough nutrients even though I take multivitamins. Even though I’m calorically okay I’m not eating healthy food so I also feel bad because of that.
was thinking of scheduling a consultation with a therapist at my college, since they have an eating concerns team and we have 12 free appointments a semester. thoughts?
tl;dr: i go from not eating a lot to eating too much and then feeling bad, tips on starting different habits that still help me lose weight?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/lr6ere/advice_on_healthy_eating_habits/
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