Its my second month of wightloss. This is the first time in my life i'm mentally ready for wightloss and realized that it's a lifestyle change. I have found the joy aging in making healthy food and trying new recipes and enjoying moving my body.
But i haven't felt this emotionally since my parants died. I feel like a time bomb and I get so sad out of the blue and scared of losing wight. I won't sabotage myself anymore. But i don't know who i'm without all this weight. Being the jolly fat sweet funny girl has savne me. Getting thicker has been a layer to protect myself emotionally and physically from others.
I'm the youngest of 6 kids. All my sibling beat me growing up and told me I wouldn't be good enough to be loved unless i was skinny. In our house we called this discipline i didn't realize till after our parants died, that i had my whole life been living in physical and emotional abuse. At the age of 19 I decided that I would be better off alone. After years of terapi i'm in a better place with myslef, still alot to work true and have a good relationship with one of my sisters.
I'm just rambling now, but i think i'm feeling like a emotional time bomb because i'm not using food to numb my feelings anymore. It's both weird and hard, but i'm proud for not bing eating. I hope somone els relates to this feeling, because nobody in my life gets it.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ln2sms/feeling_like_a_emotional_time_bomb/
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