Hello people,
I’m currently having an emotional low and I need to vent a bit to organize my thoughts
So here I go,
I looked at myself in the mirror today and I noticed how much fat I still carry on my body. Even though I’m the skinniest version of myself ever, I look good in clothes, my stomach looks flat when I wear pants and I can easily pass as being at a healthy weight. I’ve had a self esteem boost over the last couple of days and the way I carry myself around is noticeably more confident.
However I’m constantly terrified of gaining weight.
I know that slow and steady wins the race and that’s what’s been working super well for me so far. Over the last year I lost about 2 dress sizes while building muscle, not restricting too much just to be able to get to the size I want and still be able to eat a normal amount. And all of this, to me that’s impressive. I went from a xl to a medium and hopefully in a couple of months I will fit in a small
But every time I look at all the fat I still carry around my body I just can’t believe how fat I used to be and not notice it. I now think I qualify as skinny fat despite how much muscle mass I’ve acquired. But my belly is still very squishy and full of rolls, my love handles are still fat and so are my triceps.
I feel like patrick star from spongebob whenever I hop in the shower.
Gyms closed a month ago in my area and I used to see the gym as a reason for allowing myself to eat pretty much anything I wanted as long as I respected my hunger cues. now that I’m staying mostly inside I fear eating other things than tuna cans.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/jn4hb6/meditations_of_a_person_hitting_a_low_self_esteem/
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