Want to lose weight, dont know where to start

Hey guys,

first things first, here are my stats:Female, 20 y/o; last wight: 130kg (now it's higher, i can feel it) height: 1,73m

i work in an office and my biggest hobby is gaming; so i basically sit 12-15hrs/day and sleep 5-6hrs. which isn healthy. i know that. i once worked as a nurse and got fired due to manipulation, since then (May 2017) im highly depressive and food is my only friend. i had my best friend with me and she would slap my ass to the gym once a week. she moved away, no way to slap me in the gym anymore.

whenever i feel depressed or some shit i'd eat like crazy. im tired of it, i dont want it but i cant do it.

guess i can but i dont want it? I dont know. i surfed the last 2 days in /r/progresspics and felt horrible; ppl can actually lose like over 100 pounds in 2 years or something and im crying about the fact that i cant stop eating like a pig.

basically all my cloths are way too small, i have marks all over my body when i come home from work and it hurts like crazy. i have to fuckin lay do to get my jeans to close.

i'm embarresd by myself and dont want it anymore. my boyfriend always tell me he loves me like i am and i dont have to change for him. its depressing to see him eating like shit and only drinking coke and not gaining weight.

my goal is to hit 99kg; i haven't been under 100kg since i was 15.

i just dont know where to start. i read so many great expierences from u guys but i just dont know where to start. i have myfitnesspal, i always forget to count calories and i dont have a scale.

i'm afraid of the gym because im so fat.

maybe someone have some advice?

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thank you guys

submitted by /u/chayliice
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/fdacga/want_to_lose_weight_dont_know_where_to_start/