Apologies early, as this might end up being really long. I'll probably bullet point some stuff or tl:dr it at the bottom to make it easier for you guys, but I think I really just need to dump some stuff out and this might be the only place that will care to hear it.
I came to this point last week some time. I'm a habitual procrastinator, and have adopted a "do it right when you think of it" attitude that has been helping a lot. Trash needs to go out, just take it out; don't sit and think of a good time to do it. That sort of thing. It's been working really well for weeks, and I even got me a nice dry-erase board that hangs on my wall with a list of all my routines, daily tasks, goals, etc that I can check off as I do them which feels GREAT. One thing that I've been procrastinating on is, of course, dropping this extra weight. So last week I finally added it to the whiteboard: P90X3.
Now, for YEARS (basically since I had seen the first commercials for it), I have been telling myself someday I will add P90X to my life and it will help solve a lot of my body issues. Thoroughly convinced myself of it. I was SO excited to get started and really "bring it!" I generally do well with extremes more than slow-and-steady situations, so this seemed like a great fit for me and my "style," so I got the resistance bands (have to workout in a basement with a low ceiling so pull-ups aren't really an option in a classical sense), a set of 30# dumbbells, pushup handles, jump mat, a kitchen chair and a shit ton of bottled water. I even mounted a spare tv and connected it to a laptop so I can just load up the videos without needing to swap DVD's and all that crap. It's all perfect except for one minor detail:
I can't do it.
P90X3 has an optional "cold start" workout that you can do before the main event for the day, so I started with that. The cold start routine is a very basic stretching and calisthenic ordeal just to loosen you up and get you ready for the workout. I BARELY made it through the cold start video, but it felt good to be moving and I pressed on. Then I went into the first video of the program, which is called Total Synergistics. For those who aren't familiar with the program, Total Synergistics is a decent workout focused on a reliable, full-body routine that doesn't really emphasize any muscle group in particular and doesn't work you too hard. The video is 30 minutes (as all workouts in X3 are), but due to pausing, drinking water and catching my breath, it took me over an hour to do it. The small victory here is that I got through it, I suppose, but here comes the worst part: I can't bring myself to load up the next video in the series. All this has also kinda "killed" my whiteboarding tasks and such, which is currently blank. I'm sure there is some sort of depression/dysthymia thing at play here.
Without going into too much detail, here are a few relevant things about myself. I'm a little over 6ft tall, around 265 pounds. 37 years old, average white guy. I've only ever been relatively "in shape" a couple times in my life and it was not on purpose. The best shape I was ever in was when Dance Dance Revolution was super popular and I fell into it really hard (luckily for me my high school prom was around this time so my prom picture is on point). A few years ago I even went so far as to buy my own Dance Dance Revolution arcade machine (DDRMax2, for those of you fellow nerds who are wondering) and put it in the garage with the other big toys. Sadly, the "fire" wasn't there so I didn't hardly ever use it and ended up getting rid of it after a few months. I was pretty convinced that if I had one of those, it would be smooth sailing back to fit-town. This is a theme that has repeated throughout my life: I am convinced of the answer to my fitness, set myself up to do whatever that is, then reality kills it.
As a lot of us here on r/loseit, I read a LOT about diet and metabolism and the like. I know all about CICO, IF, HIIT, IIFYM, OMAD, etc. Trying to find what works for me has been, let's say, less than fruitful. Basically, out of pure annoyance and stubbornness, I've been OMAD almost all of my life simply because cooking/eating is kind of a pain, so I guess that makes me IF, as well. But we all know here that CICO is the most important, and whenever I see a post about "where to start" that is the most repeated response. My problem, I believe, is a big failure to launch. How do people get started on this stuff? How do they maintain? Most frustratingly, how am I going to tailor this new lifestyle to my situation where I have a 9yo son and I also take care of my disabled mother? I get overwhelmed with these thoughts and I just shut down.
Originally I was going to use this to launch into asking for help with some of these issues, but I think I'll just leave this as a rant and make a separate post for that. Thanks for reading, everyone. Good luck on your journeys!
TL;DR: I've always convinced myself that I could do an extreme workout routine and "solve" my fitness issues, but learning that I'm not in good enough shape to do it has left me questioning everything and looking for a more realistic place to start.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ffrojb/a_lengthy_rant_from_someone_who_needs_to_be/
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