tw// mention of s*lf h*rm
I'll start off by saying, I have already been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and I have a history of s*lf h*rm. I am a 14 year old female. ever since I can remember (since 5 or 6) I have been skipping meals, obsessing over my weight and weighing myself constantly. most of the time, I'll 1-2 meals a day. sometimes I won't eat anything or I overeat way too much, to the point where I am in physical discomfort or throw up. I make myself over-exercise a lot, even when I don't eat all day. I count calories, do diets, skip meals, over exercise, measure my waist and wrists almost daily, I eat ice, I replace my meals with water, I look at images of skinny girls (mainly kpop idols) to make myself feel worse, I have hurt myself after overeating many times. I have made myself throw up after eating a few times, I have also eaten a cotton ball (just one though) to make myself feel full so I won't have to eat. I lie about eating breakfast and sometimes dinner, or say I'm just not hungry. I've kind of always been shorter/skinnier/lighter than most of my peers, I get anxious when I have to wear a bathing suit because I'm scared people will think I am fat. I have low self esteem, and say hurtful things to myself a lot. I avoid a lot of high calorie foods. recently, I've been skipping meals and restricting way more, I haven't gotten my period this month and I think it's because I didn't eat. I spend a lot of time looking at dieting advice and methods. I'm not sure if this is related to eds, but when I stand up I hear throbbing/flushing sound, my vision is blurry, I fall over, feel lightheaded, and have a very bad headache. I've taken maybe 30 online ed quizzes and they all say I have a high chance of bulimia, I'm kind of in denial about it though
do you think I have an eating disorder?? if so, what can I do?? how can I get help?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/lo13r0/is_this_an_eating_disorder_im_really_worried/
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