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Saturday, September 12, 2020

Struggling with getting going - for 5 years

Hi everyone,

I want to start by saying thanks for taking the time to read this and maybe even respond.

I understand CICO. I understand that I need to change my relationship with food. I understand that it will take me a long time to reach my goal in a sustainable way.

I am 50 and have gained 100 pounds over the last 5 years. Before that I was always at a healthy weight. Ever since I started gaining weight I knew I had to stop gaining weight and get back to my healthy weight. My fitness pal goes back that far, so I can see the weight chart go up and up.

Almost everyday I start my logging. By afternoon I stop. Just one more day of not depriving myself. Just one more day of not worrying about eating something I crave. And here we are, 5 years later. I have never lost weight. This sort of coincides with me being diagnosed as bipolar 1 and getting on medication. I know there may be some weight gain, but 100 pounds? Not according to my doctor.

Maybe I developed an eating disorder? I eat when I’m not hungry. I eat because I’m anxious, bored, sad, depressed. My doctor is not any help. “Just eat carrots instead!”I have a very string “why” a have a child, I’m getting sick l, I can’t do the things I used love doing - hiking, biking, yoga, running.

I’ve read about motivation, how to keep it, what it is. Will power, how to make it stronger and how it doesn’t really exist. Habit change, healthy eating. Portion control. I’ve gotten eating guidelines from a nutritionist. But everyday....I do the same thing. “Just one more day.”

Any kind words, similar stories (even if you haven’t reached the other side - good to know I’m not alone) or thoughts would be much appreciated.

Who else has struggled like this? How’d you change? Did a therapist help? A book?

Thank you again.

submitted by /u/sharpie_mark
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ir9rth/struggling_with_getting_going_for_5_years/

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