My dad was morbidly obese about 10-15 years ago. He went through a lot of shit so he could interact with his family normally again. In recent years, he's caught me countless times smuggling food, buying food I didn't need, and has seen me waste hundreds, and probably thousands of dollars over the years on food I didn't need. One of my main comforts in life is to sit down with a ton of food and mindlessly self indulge while watching YouTube. I first noticed stretch marks when I was 14 and had no idea what they were. I ended up scouring the internet for these "weird lines on my stomach" and couldn't find anything. I grew up in a major lake area, and swimming became embarrassing for me. I would use the whole "oh no, I left my shirt on! Well, it's already wet now!" Excuse all the time. Most romantic endeavors I've had or tried to have usually end in looking like a creep because of my weight. I spent so much time glorifying it, telling myself that I can get away with it because I'm young, and that I would just get lipo when I could afford it. I see all these people saying "ugh I'm so fat!" And "my biggest ever was 175!" And feel so jealous because their problems aren't as bad as mine, which I'm aware is very toxic. My family recently got a treadmill and an elliptical, as well as some weights. I've neglected to use them at all and always made excuses for why I didn't. I would claim that I had schoolwork when I really just wanted to eat a box of cheez-its and pop tarts and watch random YouTube videos for hours on end. I've tried many times to get right and always end up falling back in the hole if I don't see results in 2/3 days. How can I get better?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/gbdkk4/im_17_and_250_pounds_im_sick_of_looking_at_myself/
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