I started exercising vigorously in December of 2020, trying really hard to lose some weight and get more fit. I kept telling myself that it was just to get more fit but once I went back to university, I went the the gym 5-6 times a week, counted my calories extensively, skipped meals, and restricted myself. I started forcing myself to purge when I started binging and these binges started to become almost daily. Sometimes even twice a day. I got a boyfriend because I was lonely and my mindset was in a bad place. When we were intimate, he told me how great my body looked, but it was because of my bulimia. I didn’t feel so great about myself even when he said that. I started working part time at a restaurant and with the free food, it kept on pushing the cycle of binging and purging. It took me 3 months for me to tell my friends and 4 months for me to get a school counselor. I had a month of counseling before coming back home and doing counseling with a provider near me. My purges continued but then it became twice a week, to once a week, once a month, and then now I haven’t binged and purged in over a month.
I study healthcare and I was embarrassed about my condition because I was educating patients with a condition that was the same as mine. I felt like a hypocrite. However, with counseling and reaching out towards people I can trust, I went on the path to recovery. I start listening to my body cues. I started not wearing my Fitbit. I started eating what I wanted to and still I was able to lose some weight when my goal was to recover from my eating disorder.
If you ever run into a wall like I did, please get help! I tried to help myself, but often times, it’s a combination of you, your mindset, and someone to guide you through it. Please lose weight in a healthy manner!
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/oxl3ow/i_had_an_ed_after_trying_to_aggressively_lose/
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