Hi loseit, I wanted to make this post as something concrete I can look back on when the going gets tough. I’ve been aware of my weight for about 15 years or so, and I’d like to vent a little- take this down if it violates some posting rule.
When I was growing up, I’d always spend the night at my grandmothers house on fridays. I ate pretty terribly throughout the week anyway, but at her house I’d have endless snacks and food. I’d regularly eat a whole large pizza, some ice cream, and then fast food breakfast the next morning every weekend as early as like 12 years old. Probably around age 15, I’d promise myself every weekend that I’d “start” Monday, meaning I’d swear off the over eating and start exercising.
At 17 I joined a sport and lost about 60 pounds and was at 230, and I felt really good about myself, even though at 6 foot this was still very overweight and possibly obese. After the season, I kept my crazy eating habits but lost all activity and quickly gained 70+ pounds by university, where over the next six years I ballooned up to 363 pounds just a few weeks ago.
Two years ago I lost about 40 pounds by fasting and walking, but gained it back and more.
I’m extremely upset and embarrassed. I don’t have any nice clothes, I’m not very involved socially because I’m ashamed to be out and about. I dated a girl who was vicious about my obesity but stayed with her due to shame and scarcity. I have no discipline, and every week, just like at 15, I tell myself that now is the start.
Well I’m tired of my youth being squandered, my health destroyed, and my self esteem at rock bottom. It’s the second of September, and right now I choose to be happy and motivated and disciplined with my face illuminated by the future. I read all the posts on here and I’m always so inspired by everyone’s success, and the most motivating thing for me is when people say they feel younger. I already feel old and unwell. I want to bounce off the walls with energy!
I love this community, sorry for the novel.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ilmeic/m25_360_lbs_its_time_to_turn_around_this_sinking/
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