Hi! I grew up having an unhealthy relationship with food. My parents bought lots of junk food and in our culture, rice is a staple for lunch and dinner. Being a child with no self restraint, I used to eat however much I wanted and would finish a whole box of chocolate in one sitting. I used to eat plates full of rice with a little bit of curried vegetables or meat. Breakfast was usually sugary cereals, pancakes with syrup, waffles with chocolate chip, a naan (220 cal) with a fried egg, in general lots of carbs.
I am 20 years old now and learning how to be healthier and more conscious of my food and body. My family has a history of diabetes mellitus, but my parents did not take preventive measures for their kids by restricting sugary foods or encouraging healthier choices. They did not educate us about food, or taking care of our body. But they are number one in line to criticize my body, symptoms of pre-diabetes (dark spot in my neck (Acanthosis nigricans)), PCOS symptoms caused by insulin resistance (which causes diabetes mellitus) (hirsutism- excessive body and facial hair). All of these conditions make it harder for me to lose weight due to chemical imbalance. No matter how much I try, my belly looks big and my mom makes jokes that she is going to be a grandma soon and that I am pregnant. I don’t think that is funny and is very insensitive. I get panic attacks thinking about having to use insulin injections, having lots of medicine, being undesirable (I know this is the wrong type of thinking since looks should have 0 factor in a healthy relationship),not being able to conceive due to PCOS, and about being super careful not to eat anything to lead me into that type of life. I want to get better now so I don’t have to worry about it later. I want to live and do so many things in life. I want to travel and I want to be there for my siblings and teach them as they get older and help them form a healthy relationship with food and choose to have a more active life.
I am getting my life together. A little at a time. Instead of getting a lot of rice, now I get a little bit of rice and get lots of lentil soup with fish. I eat more protein and less carbs. I am trying to reduce my sugar intake through candy and other products. I’ve been drinking lots of water and wait a while before deciding to get seconds.
I’m super beyond proud of myself for doing better. My parents make fun of me when I’m measuring my portions with a food scale, but I know that I should care less about their opinions.
I am going to start working out (mainly strength training with my body weight and I have one 8 pound dumbbell lol). Right now, I like to dance so I lock my door and blast music. It helps me sweat and also learn how to dance better the more I try so that makes me happy and is a stress reliever. Exercise is such a good way to relieve stress and aid mental health become better.
Today was my little sisters birthday and I went out to buy her a cake and some things. I went to Dollar Tree to buy some slime, coloring book, etc. for her and my other siblings. I went to the candy isle and picked up a chocolate. That’s when I realized that if I, as a guardian, do not buy the candy then my siblings will not have access to it and will not eat it. That’s what happened to me. My parents bought it and I ate it. If I break the cycle, if I don’t buy it, that means that less candy and junk food will come into the house. We won’t have access to it and will choose other options. So I put the chocolate back. I walked away with a smile on my face. And that’s the same smile I had when I took a piece of the Oreo ice cream cake and ate a little until I was satisfied by the taste and put the rest in the fridge. I got a small circular one from baskin Robbins instead of a sheet cake.its only 4 of us and its not a meal so it’s ok if we don’t eat a lot and we don’t have to feel full after.
I bought a box of ice cream bars that are 100 cal each. I ate like 3 or 4 of them only in special times like during my online graduation (it was a YouTube video) or when I really wanted it and it fit into my daily caloric limit. I’ve been trying to eat 1200 calories per day. I am 20F and 5’1 feet. There’s two pieces left from the 24 piece box that mostly my siblings ate. It’s been almost a week and I haven’t ate any! I’m not tempted! Recently, I have been crushing a 150 cal serving of peanuts in a blender and use it as a dip when I’m eating the ice cream so I can get some protein.
Almost daily, my dad brings Oreos and chips home from his place of employment. They give it for free. The Oreos are two pieces per pack and 100 calories per pack. Before, I could’ve ate 10+ pieces but now I decline whenever I’m offered. I did eat it one day this week, but left the cream part out mostly. I make more conscious choices now and am someone who is responsible for my body and health conditions.
It’s little things I’m doing that make me feel like I can really change my mindset about food and stick with these decisions. Sugar is an addiction that is hard to get rid of especially if it’s a sweet childhood memory. But I’m trying my best and making better choices slowly.
Thank you for reading and please let me know something you broke the habit of.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/hkxymr/im_so_happy_that_my_mindset_towards_sweets_is/
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