I've been following this sub for a year now, and I keep telling myself that I'll benefit from the uplifting stories, I'll get motivated, I'll finally get my head back in the game. But I just haven't. I've been here cheering you all on while I sit on the sidelines saying "I used to be like that" while munching on my junk food. Well I'm sick of it!!
Over the years I've lost and gained weight a few times. Usually I fluctuate between the same 30-40lbs. I'm F 5'7" and currently 200lbs... again. I told myself I would never enter the 200's again, but here I am. My lowest weight was 145lbs (Down from 190lbs), and I looked pretty thin. I had a lot of muscle as I focused on weightlifting over cardio for the better part of a year so I was dense and heavy, but I was in a US size 4. The bones on my chest stuck out and my neck was all tendons. I don't really want to aim for anything lower than that again. I was happiest at 165lbs. Less chub rub, more flexibility, less daily pain. However the fact that I've lost weight to get there multiple times I just have this back and forth "why bother" "but I can do it again!" " yeah but I just got fat again" mentality.
I binge eat, I stress eat, I emotional eat (happy and sad). I tell myself it's because of work, it's because of grief, it's because my loved ones keep offering me junk. I keep putting the blame on outside sources. *I* cave to temptation, *I* don't tell myself no, it's no one else putting the food to my lips, getting me in the car to drive to the store because of a craving or even just slipping a few chocolate bars into the cart because I'm at the store anyway.
In the past, when I got skinny, I began restricting my calories to 1000 or less a day while also doing at least an hour in the gym daily. I got hooked on that number going down. I'm so prone to crash dieting and seeing fast results that my brain goes right there when I start counting calories again and tracking my foods, so I inevitably fail and go back to the junk. Well not this time dammit!! This time I'm giving myself 12 months to make it as gradual and natural as I can.
I'm making this public, mostly for myself to look back on and say "You did it, you did this for us". July 2nd 2022 I'm going to post here again and hopefully that me will be 165lbs or at the very least a healthier happier me with lasting good habits. I'm doing this for us.
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/och5jn/im_tired_of_my_excuses_and_passing_blame/
No comments:
Post a Comment