Hi all - it’s my (28F 171cm 73kg) first ever post on reddit - I think I’m writing this just to let some of the emotions out. I’ve been trying to lose weight for the last 5 years, and tbh just keep failing at it - I lose the weight for some time, but I always gain it back. For the last 8 years I have been steadily gaining weight - in total around 20 kg - last week I have officially became overweight and I think I’m just tired.
As a child/teenager/young adult I was not interested in food AT ALL. It was never on my radar, never bothered me. I did a lot of sports (horse riding as one of them) and I was in great shape. Then I started uni and went to work, so I became responsible for my own life - I had to resign from horse riding (which is dead expensive where I live). But I still had a job where I would move a lot - flight attendant. So for most of my life I never had any issues with my weight.
4 years ago I started a very well paid but very stressful desk job. I slowly noticed that food became sort of a comforter and reward for me - hard day at work? Let’s order wine and sushi! A good day at work? Let‘s go out for drinks! Meeting friends? Let’s get high and go to a restaurant. I have been using food (and alcohol and drugs) not only as a coping mechanism, but it’s been a large part of my social life.
I lost the weight a couple of times, but I was shocked how hard it is - my metabolism had slowed down (I used to lose like 5kg in a week without even realizing it). I would succeed, and then my old habits would creep back. Last year I really took to changing my lifestyle: I went to the gym 4 times a week, I counted calories - I lost 10 kg in 3 months - then the pandemic hit, so I gained it all back, by working remotely (I stopped moving completely), stuffing my face and smoking crazy amounts of medical weed (It was prescribed by my psychiatrist along with other medication, but I would overdose on it), the stress of possibly losing a loved one (my 90 year old grandmother or my husband, who has some risk factors) wasn’t helping at all.
The results? Stomach problems from overeating and binging at night - I possibly have stokach ulcers. 0 motivation not only to diet but to work or even live. I’s just crazy how in a couple of years food stopped being a source of energy, and became a reward, coping mechanism, even an obsession. I’ve spoken to my doctors about it but they seem a bit clueless about what to do with me.
TBH I’m just tired and depressed so I wanted to rant a bit. It just pains me to fail each and every time, despite being in a really privileged position: I’ve got my vaccine, still have my job, I have a great husband who takes care of me, supports me, and loves me despite my weight. I’m just so worried that I’ve lost control over my urges And bad habits.
I think it’s a larger problem of people who never had issues with their weight (so they’ve never been educated on proper eating habits or stress relief techniques ) and once their metabolism slows down in their 25s-30s and the desk jobs come it they gain a lot of weight.
Anyways - 2020 was a trainwreck. I hope you are all doing better by the day and slowly achieving your goals and taking care of yourselves. What I wanted to really write is this: many times weight gain comes with psychological issues - it could be a symptom of drug/alcohol abuse, depression, anxiety - please do not ignore that and search for help if you feel you need it.
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/nj4bok/tired_of_trying_to_lose_the_weight/
No comments:
Post a Comment