Hello everyone. This community inspires and motivates me to work on my physical health. I wanted to post a short story of a small "Ah-ha!" moment I had earlier today and hopefully inspire a few people in turn. I now believe that every little bit helps.
I was obese in high school and managed to get down to being overweight in my college years and post. The important part is that I have struggled with my weight for a long time and the personal mental challenges that are associated with never feeling good enough and using food as a source of comfort when my experience with emotional intelligence or maturity is minimal.
I decided to recently start working out. I have been doing a mixture of resistance band and body weight exercises at home. When I know my family is not around and will not be around for some time. The context for my workouts is that I have tried going to the gym but my anxiety gets the best of me when working out around others. I did find success going to the gym after 10pm and having no one else around, but this ended up being unsustainable with a different work schedule. I simply am more comfortable working out alone because my ego creates scenarios of being judged by others around me.
I have been working out three times a week (MWF). Today I had family at home and do not have an active gym membership. I mentally began to make excuses about not doing my workout today. But somewhere a thought appeared asking, "What if we go to a park and do the workout there? Surely we can find a secluded enough spot for half an hour." After a few minutes of encouraging myself to just give it a try, I loaded up my gear into my Jeep.
I did find myself at a park near my home. It's a beautiful day today so the park has people there. I sat in the driver's seat for a few minutes looking for a "secluded enough spot" to lay out my mat. There was a guy and his two dogs hanging out where I wanted to setup, and I simply waited for them to leave. There was the voice telling me to just give up and go home, but I gently asked myself to wait a few more minutes. After "my spot" became available, I setup my mat and began to warm-up and do my thing.
Occasionally a person and their dog or a couple would walk by and my anxiety would flare up and a voice would cry out that I was being judged for how silly I look or about how much sweat was seeping through my shirt. I told myself, out loud, in a calm reassuring voice that it is ok, I was not being judged, and they are simply walking by and doing their own thing. I finished my workout with more reps throughout my sets, feeling pretty damn proud of myself.
It wasn't until after loading my gear back into the Jeep that I realized that the normally self-critical voice in my head did not win today. Treating myself with patience, understanding, and kindness ultimately encouraged me to go and workout.
Sometimes I need a kick in the rear to get my crap together. But maybe sometimes treating yourself with love can be even more productive.
Here's to more personal victories for me, and to the many victories on their way to you.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/nly253/today_i_finally_understood_what_it_means_to_treat/
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